Our Tongue, Our Identity Our Tongue, Our Biggest Blessing or Worst Enemy?

Our language, Our identity

By

Molana Abdul Mateen

Administrator of

Dar e Arqam Institute Nawalane Lyari Khi

Translated by

 Kurd Sajid Ali

Allah, the Exalted, has used the term _“taswiyah”_ in the Holy Qur’an regarding the structure and proportioning of the human body and its organs.

“He Who created you, then proportioned you and balanced you.” [Al-Infitar]

Meaning, human organs are not just placed in a random shape or form. Rather, every organ is perfectly fitted in its place with full benefit, and the presence of that organ in that specific location in the human body is most beneficial and best for mankind.

Among these organs, one of the greatest blessings is the blessing of the _tongue_, which plays a pivotal role for the human being.

In Surah Ar-Rahman, the Qur’an makes special mention of this blessing by saying *“‘Allamal-bayan”*

“The Most Merciful is He Who taught mankind articulate speech.” Who granted mankind the power of expression and speech.

It is amazing that whatever the human mind thinks, that thought comes out on the tongue in the form of words, though in a form far less than even one percent of what was conceived.

Allah, the Exalted, has blessed mankind with various bounties, but He mentioned a principle in the Qur’an:

“Then, on that Day, you will surely be questioned about the blessings.” [At-Takathur]

Meaning, it is not that every blessing was given free and unasked for, so one may use it however he wishes like an ungrateful person. Rather, mankind is strongly required to show practical gratitude for this blessing. The true form of that is to use the blessing in the manner it rightfully deserves to be used.

That is why, after granting such a great blessing as the tongue, Allah also explained it in detail. One important aspect is that the tongue is not merely connected to a person’s words — rather, speech is a mirror of human character, and many righteous deeds are deeply connected to the use of this tongue.

In _Ihya’ Ulum ad-Din_, Imam Ghazali mentioned about 20 major sins that are related to the tongue — for example: lying, abusing, backbiting, mockery, foolish talk, fault-finding, ingratitude, foul speech, cursing, idle talk, abandoning truth, excessive speech, slander, arrogance, etc. All these spiritual diseases are deeply connected to the tongue.

That is why Allah, the Exalted, mentioned the carefulness of words in the Qur’an and said:

“Not a single word does he utter, but there is a vigilant watcher ready to record it.”[Qaf]

In another place He said:

“Indeed, there are over you guardians, noble scribes.” [Al-Infitar]

The point is: speak with caution, because human words do not fly away and get wasted in the air. Yes, not only long conversations — even the few words that remain are being recorded.

A person always remains uneasy about his own speech. We see that if someone’s speech is being recorded on a Voice Recorder, even then the tongue sometimes utters words that are unacceptable and uneven. That is why Allah, the Exalted, mentioned _“hafizeen”_ to remind us that although there is no recorder in front of you, the meticulous and precise angels are engaged in their work.

To the extent that, when the sun rises and people face one another, all human limbs address the tongue and say:

“When the son of Adam enters the morning, all his limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: ‘Fear Allah concerning us, for if you are straight, we will be straight; and if you are crooked, we will be crooked.’” [Musnad Ahmad]

O tongue, you do not hold a separate, independent status. Rather, we are all bound with you. As long as your use remains correct, we will also keep doing our work properly. But if crookedness comes into you, then you will take us down with you.

Similarly, in Surah Yaseen it is said:

“On that Day We will seal their mouths.”

On the Day of Judgment, the tongue itself will bear witness for or against a person and will testify how unjustly this person used it.

In one narration, the Noble Messenger ﷺ said:

“Whoever guarantees me what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee him Paradise.”[Bukhari]

On one occasion, he ﷺ said to Mu‘adh ibn Jabal:

“O Mu‘adh, control your tongue.” Mu‘adh asked, “O Messenger of Allah, will we really be held accountable for what the tongue says?” He replied, “May your mother be bereaved of you! Many people will be thrown into Hell on their faces because of their tongues.”[Tirmidhi]

Similarly, when he ﷺ defined a Muslim, he said in terms of not harming others with tongue and limbs:

“A Muslim is he from whose tongue and hand other Muslims are safe.”[Bukhari]

The Prophet ﷺ also practiced this in his personal dealings with those closest to him. In one narration, Anas ibn Malik (RA) said:

“I served the Messenger of Allah ﷺ for ten years, and during this period he never once said ‘Uff’ to me, nor did he ever say about something I did: ‘Why did you do it?’ nor about something I did not do: ‘Why did you not do it?’”[Bukhari]

That is why the famous Tabi‘i, Tawus (RA), mentioned about the reality of the tongue: “My tongue is like a beast which I have restrained. If I were to let this beast go, it would attack me.”

Meaning, the tongue’s savagery ends up victimizing the very person who owns it.

Below, we will mention some brief points that should be kept in mind when using the tongue.

1. Speak with Purpose

Avoid conversations that have no purpose and are just aimless, time-wasting, and careless talk. Keep yourself away from such talks and such gatherings.

*Note:* Sometimes a person holds light-hearted gossip and gatherings of mutual love and humor for freshness and liveliness of mood, because such gatherings become a source of refreshment for the body and mind.

2. Speak Straight

Allah the Exalted says in the Holy Qur’an:

“O you who believe! Fear Allah and speak words that are straight to the point.” [Al-Ahzab]

Speech that has sarcasm, taunts, or hidden double meanings — where the example is one thing and the question is something else — or speech that is unnecessarily long, are wrong ways of talking. That’s why Allah commanded: Speak such straight words that have purpose, comprehensiveness, and full meaning.

3. Beauty and Gentleness in Speech

Allah said: _“Speak to people in a good way.”[Al-Baqarah]

“A good word is charity.”[Bukhari]

Meaning, when a person speaks, he should speak well. Don’t utter filth from your mouth. Your speech should make people’s hearts happy, and the listener should wish that you speak more.

There are good and bad ways to say everything. For example, one person says: “Your phone isn’t working properly,” and another says: “Your phone is trash.” Both sentences mean the same thing, but one style shows high character and the other insults the listener further.

"Similarly, gentleness is mentioned: that you both speak to Pharaoh gently."

"Two prophet brothers Musa and Harun (peace be upon them), are being sent to Pharaoh — the tyrannical and oppressive ruler of the time — yet they are being instructed to use gentleness in their tone and style of speech.

4. Avoid Hateful Speech

The Noble Messenger ﷺ said:

“Spread glad tidings and do not repel people.”[Muslim]

When you speak, solve problems — don’t make them worse. Your words should bring benefit to people.

Do not ignite the fire of hatred, malice, envy, and grudges in your speech, which leads to conflict, division, and breakdown.

Just imagine how excellent that conversation would be where topics include knowledge, arts, Qur’an, Hadith, culture, Seerah, history, humor, literature, poetry, general information, or mutual consultation — and no Muslim’s personal life or family becomes the subject.

5. Brief and Impactful Speech

When speech is according to purpose and need, it will automatically be brief and impactful. When the point is clear, there’s no need to drag it out. Saying in 2 minutes what could be said in 15 is foolishness.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: _“Uteetu jawami‘ al-kalim”_

“Allah has granted me the ability to speak concisely yet comprehensively.”[Bukhari]

His comprehensive words — _Jawami‘ al-Kalim_ — have been compiled in Hadith form by Mufti Muhammad Shafi‘ (RA). To explain a deed, we might take at least five minutes, but the Prophet ﷺ conveyed it completely in just a few moments.

“Actions are by intentions” the whole matter is completed in less than half a line.

Talking too much and speaking nonstop is not a sign of intelligence. It wastes your own dignity and other people’s time.

6. Listen Well, Speak Well

A major misconception in our society is that we think good conversation and being impressive is all about speaking well — presenting ourselves and our inner thoughts in a better way. We consider that to be the peak of good speech.

But according to experts, the excellence of good conversation is not only in speaking — it’s also in listening attentively.

So it’s part of etiquette that just talking non-stop isn’t good. Rather, you should let your listener also finish speaking completely. Give them a chance to ask their question fully. Keep listening until they’re done.

Interrupting someone mid-sentence in a gathering to start your own speech, or getting busy on your phone and whispering while the other person is talking — all these behaviors do not befit a person of faith.

7. Method to Control Your Tongue

In reality, the misuse of the tongue creates many problems. That’s why the Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught an excellent method — by adopting it, we can use this tool properly.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever remains silent is saved.”[Tirmidhi]

Making yourself used to silence and quietness is a way to gain mastery over yourself.

That’s why the elders say: “One silence saves a hundred troubles.” So as long as matters are under control, stay silent. But silence does not mean a person should remain completely mute.

Rather, experts say that a person’s tongue should function well — he should listen to conversation with full attention, give reasoned answers, speak briefly and impactfully when it’s his turn, and clothe his silence in the best words.